Monday, 8 December 2008

Finally a post after a long absence

I am writing this in the kitchen at home where I am the worse for wear. I am off work with the end of a virus I have had all over the weekend and today have been to the doc's and have a prescription for my chest - I also cannot speak as my voice has gone and my throat is raw.

I haven't posted for a while I have been reading and ocassionally commenting and sometimes buying but I havent had the heart to blog a couple of weeks ago as I had planned.

I know we all try and be cheerful on our blogs but I don't feel that way at the moment. I suppose I am wallowing in self pity and anger at this time. A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetis which was a shock to say the least. My colleague took my blood a couple of times ( she is a type 1) and was concerned so I went for the tests and lo and behold there it was and high cholesterol. I am annoyed with myself for getting this way and am working hard to get the cholesterol down and taking the tablets for the dreaded 'D'. I am enjoying all the wonderful side effects of headaches, nausea, and the runs.

I am feeling angry that I have not been sick for over 2 years and was feeling fine and dandy until this happened. Now I am living under a constant worried cloud - trying to cut out the things to get the cholesterol down and wondering if all the fruit etc is bad for the 'D'. When I left the doctors I was given no advice, no paperwork, nothing just told to come back in a month to see how I was dealing with the cholesterol. I know its my fault - the lack of exercise - I certainly do not overeat and we eat very healthily its just the lethargy that sets in after the chores are done after work and we dont even have a wlak in the evening anymore. I am overweight and I guess this is a wake up call to get me to deal with it. So that makes me angry with myself.

I started on Thursday feeling sick and hot and by Friday was away with the fairies. I felt terrible and then the voice went - I know this is coincidence and nothing to do with 'D' and even 'C' (cholesterol) but it takes me down further. However my woes are superficial compared to my Dad's.

On Thursday I had the worst news I have ever had in my 52 years. My Dad has had prostate cancer for over 2 years but it diminished with drugs and was at bay. Now however the tumour has got bigger and seems to be on the move - his kidneys are clear but we hear on Thursday what is the next thing to happen to him but they have said they won't operate. Now I see that as a bad thing - does it mean its too bad or what? We have been a lucky family with illness but we are a small family and this is my Dad we are talking about - who has always been there for me - even when my Mam wasn't! He is so very precious to us all and it is going to be hard to feel festive this year.

I know life goes on but we are all in deep shock at the moment..................... I have thanks to post for purchases and some pics to add but not today.

I hope no-one minds me posting such a blog but I want to let people know I am still here but sad

7 comments:

mrsnesbitt said...

Oh dear honeybunch! Sending you ((((HUGS)))) right now. I was feeling a bit weepy a while ago and it turns out I am menopausal...do you think it might be the same for you? That certainly explained how I was feeling!

Dont worry about blogging, you just concentrate on getting better and being with tose you love.

Dxxx

Sal said...

I am so sorry to hear your news.
Sending you big big hugs xxx

MarmaladeRose said...

Oh, Catherine, you are going through a rough time. You must be really knocked for six. I seem to know quite a few people with D, and I really admire how they all cope with it in their different ways. I think all of them found it difficult at first, but then it must just become part of life, like people with bad eyesight putting their glasses on every morning. I hope I didn't sound flippant then, because I really don't mean it that way.
As for your dear Dad, try and be positive, if only for him. It may not be as bad as you are imagining.
I hope you are feeling better soon, I think it's a good thing for you blog about it, sometimes it's easier to talk to distant friends ( I don't like to call us strangers) and we are here for you sweetie.
I'm sending you a smile and a hug.
Get that chest better. love Fi x

please keep us updated if you feel you can.

OhSoVintage said...

That must have been a shock for you to learn about the diabetes but I'm sure you will cope. It's all about learning what you can and can't eat etc. My mother has been a diabetic for many many years and has it fully under control, though at first she didn't find it so easy. I don't mean to sound belittling of this but apparently one in 20 people are diabetic and the number is increasing. Your doctor certainly should have given you some literature on diabetes and contacts for advice. So sorry to hear about your dad too. Sometimes everything just seems to come at once and you must feel really down in the dumps. Hope you are feeling better soon.

prettyshabby said...

oh Catherine, I'm so sorry for you, your December sounds like ours..you just get over one thing and another rears its ugly head.You'll be ok with the diabetes, it just takes some getting used to and a bit of discipline..it amazes me that so many doctors drop that bombshell and give no advise whatsoever.The virus is doing the rounds..it's been here too and will be gone soon if it hasn't already. It's also perfectly normal to feel so angry about your dad but you must stay positive, that is so important..not in a false hope sort of way, but think of a good outcome instead of a worse case senario and hold it in your heart.
I'll be thinking of you x

Vintage to Victorian said...

Hi Catherine

I was sorry to read of all the sadness in your post. I'm sure, as others are saying, that you'll come to terms with the diabetes eventually, although I have no experience of it myself nor through friends or family.

What a worry for you not knowing what is likely to happen next with your Dad. Let's hope they give you some encouragement soon.

Thanks for popping in. Get rid of that lurgy soon.

Sue x

Rosie said...

Hi just found your blog, and had to comment to say don't worry about the diabetes, I have been type 2 for 3 years, and probably longer. Got no real support from the docs, but Diabetes Uk is very helpfull. Sorry to hear about your dad, hope everything works out ok.
Your blog is lovely.
Rosie