Monday, 8 December 2008

Finally a post after a long absence

I am writing this in the kitchen at home where I am the worse for wear. I am off work with the end of a virus I have had all over the weekend and today have been to the doc's and have a prescription for my chest - I also cannot speak as my voice has gone and my throat is raw.

I haven't posted for a while I have been reading and ocassionally commenting and sometimes buying but I havent had the heart to blog a couple of weeks ago as I had planned.

I know we all try and be cheerful on our blogs but I don't feel that way at the moment. I suppose I am wallowing in self pity and anger at this time. A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetis which was a shock to say the least. My colleague took my blood a couple of times ( she is a type 1) and was concerned so I went for the tests and lo and behold there it was and high cholesterol. I am annoyed with myself for getting this way and am working hard to get the cholesterol down and taking the tablets for the dreaded 'D'. I am enjoying all the wonderful side effects of headaches, nausea, and the runs.

I am feeling angry that I have not been sick for over 2 years and was feeling fine and dandy until this happened. Now I am living under a constant worried cloud - trying to cut out the things to get the cholesterol down and wondering if all the fruit etc is bad for the 'D'. When I left the doctors I was given no advice, no paperwork, nothing just told to come back in a month to see how I was dealing with the cholesterol. I know its my fault - the lack of exercise - I certainly do not overeat and we eat very healthily its just the lethargy that sets in after the chores are done after work and we dont even have a wlak in the evening anymore. I am overweight and I guess this is a wake up call to get me to deal with it. So that makes me angry with myself.

I started on Thursday feeling sick and hot and by Friday was away with the fairies. I felt terrible and then the voice went - I know this is coincidence and nothing to do with 'D' and even 'C' (cholesterol) but it takes me down further. However my woes are superficial compared to my Dad's.

On Thursday I had the worst news I have ever had in my 52 years. My Dad has had prostate cancer for over 2 years but it diminished with drugs and was at bay. Now however the tumour has got bigger and seems to be on the move - his kidneys are clear but we hear on Thursday what is the next thing to happen to him but they have said they won't operate. Now I see that as a bad thing - does it mean its too bad or what? We have been a lucky family with illness but we are a small family and this is my Dad we are talking about - who has always been there for me - even when my Mam wasn't! He is so very precious to us all and it is going to be hard to feel festive this year.

I know life goes on but we are all in deep shock at the moment..................... I have thanks to post for purchases and some pics to add but not today.

I hope no-one minds me posting such a blog but I want to let people know I am still here but sad